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Hey Red Sox fans in case you haven’t heard it yet Carl Crawford doesn’t like you. You are a bunch of big meanies who, gasp, actually care about baseball.

How dare you show up at the ballpark and care about what happens on the field? Who are you to expect production from free agent acquisitions that had multiple Brinks trucks deliver millions of dollars at their feet to play for your baseball team?

Where do you get off voicing your displeasure when the most unlikable group of hired guns, shiny bobbles and pitchers who only get so many off days (just so you know the off-season doesn’t count) so don’t expect them to miss a tee time even if they missed their last start?

How can you possibly expect someone who chased the last penny during free agency instead of taking a little less and playing somewhere where people are more concerned with what the specials are at the Waffle House than who the next day’s starting pitcher is to be comfortable in a place where there are actually fans in the stands and reporters in the locker room?

What is the matter with you people? Do you actually expect a professional athlete’s performance to be at least somewhat representative of what they are being paid?

Did you ever stop and think about what kind of pressure they are under when they just received enough cash to ensure that their children’s children will never have to work a day in their life and they are now being asked to play a game in a place where people actually care about the result?

How dare you?

That’s not how it is supposed to be in little Cowardly Carl’s world. Not even close. In Cowardly Carl’s world it’s not whether you win or lose it is how (or in the case of his time in Boston if) you play the game as long as you are getting paid boat loads of cash while you are at it.

Fans don’t exist in CC’s world or at least not many of them. For every spectator there is an empty seat and the ones who are there more likely than not are rooting for the opponent even when you are playing on one of the best teams in baseball.

Expectations? Who needs stinking expectations?

Instead of taking his game to another level after being rewarded with a windfall equal to the gross national production of Sri Lanka CC melted down like Sergio Garcia in a major championship and peed down his leg instead.

And it is all your fault Red Sox Nation.

Now that he is liberated from the fire and brimstone that was Fenway Park Cowardly Carl is now free to be the player he knew he could be a .289 hitter with 5 homeruns and 23 runs batted in. In other words another overpaid, under performing, pampered pansy.

Perfect for Hollywood, right?


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